My Apology

It's inevitable

My mouth

The trouble-maker

Getting me into

Sticky situations

Hurting those closest to me

Those I care for

Those who used to care for me

Before

The iron grip

I wish to have

On my tongue

Can never be strong enough

Can never hold the reigns

Turn the steed in the right direction

Away from danger

Ruin

Despair

Apologies

Never enough

Absolutely

The lamest

Most ridiculous

Excuses

There ARE no excuses

My mistakes

My words

Once set free

To roam the air

Seeking ears

Seeking minds

To contaminate

Always the same

A careless comment

Made in humour

Begins the slippery descent

The laughter becomes forced

Awkward

Regret

Never enough words to explain

Never enough time to retrace the steps

To reel it all back in

Take it all back

I know

The pain in my heart

The empty thud

In the pit of my stomach

Must

Be worse than the offense

You feel

Berating my stupidity

Utter lack of self-control

Complete human-ness

Repeated transgressions

The path walked so many times

Now familiar

Rutted by my heavy feet

I wish I could cry

I wish I could use my tears

Salted water

Wash away my shame

My guilt

Clean the slate

But all I have is another word

Completely inadequate

Yet somehow

Poetic justice

That a word is what I cling to

My life preserver

My last hope

Of forgiveness

Rests in a word

Yet to be spoken

Sorry

(June 29, 2009)