More Poetry (by others...)

In The Morning by Jenn Carson

Absolutely beautiful
The way your smile slides sideways
with those shy eyes
shy eyes
that tell me so much
so much you cannot
will not
say

Absolutely, achingly beautiful
Like a thick pulsing raindrop
hanging off the edge of a leaf
waiting
waiting to hit the ground
and be blown apart

You surprise me in the morning
when you roll over
to wipe the drool off my chin
and the sleep from my eyes
being careful not to breathe in my face

And you kiss my forehead
rub your beard against my cheek
and I feel everything tingle
running up the inside of my thighs
out my fingertips
and I shiver
I shiver
because I cannot contain my excitement
at knowing that I have been
blessed with holding
something so precious
so real
so so so
beautiful





I Listened by Jenn Carson

Like a forty-year-old menopausal housewife
I got to the point where I didn't know who I was
Not because I cooked every meal for my ungrateful husband
Not because I taxi-cabbed my children to the mall and the skating rink
But because you told me how to think
how to think porperly
because I didn't think properly
and stupid me stupid me
I listened

Like a handicapped child who couldn't go to the bathroom alone
I got to the point where I didn't know how to function
Not because I was making faces on command for immature classmates
Not because I wasn't taught how to add or subtract
But because you told me how to act
how to act properly
because I didn't act properly
and stupid me stupidme
I listened

Like a wounded basset hount kept on a leash
I got to the point where I didn't know how to obey
Not because I kept chasing the neighbour's cat from the yard
Not because I buried black birds and dead doves
But because you told me how to love
how to love properly
because I didn't love porperly
and stupid me stupid me
I listened



An Our by Jenn Carson

I look forward to watching you age
watching your hairline fall away
and your skin dry and wrinkle and change pigments

I look forward to you fondling my droppy breasts
and rubbing my strech-marked belly
and laughing over all the memories

And that means so much more to me
than the delusional revolving-door
of a fling-filled perpetual youth

I look forward to
sharing a future
to knowing
to having
and

our

Inspiration

So I was rereading a few of my favorite poems last night and decided to share them. These are by some of my fellow ABU grads, as published in a book called "Lunch: My Favorite Season" that was presented to me by Dr. Mantz upon graduation. I will say in no uncertain terms, these poets have inspired me to write my own poetry. Thanks.

In the Choices by Jenn Carson
I hate heels
like Marion walking sideways down the stairs
they don't let me get where I'm going fast enough

I hate pantyhose
they dig into my stomach
never keep my legs warm
and they itch

I wear men's work pants
because they have lots of pockets to hold my things
but

I still come home from a long day
to a pile of dishes no man will wash
and put on my black lace negligee
so I will look like a woman for him



Bathtub Song for You by Jenn Carson

I'm determined not to sensationalize this
The last thing the world needs
is another sad love poem
gushing in the glory of separation

I'm sitting in the bathtub
I'm not really dirty
or cold
though I did find it chilly today
but more because
I need the kind of warmth
that a blanket doesn't provide

I've been in here so long
that is keeps growing tepid
abd I keep scalding my toes
by adding more hot water
I have to remind myself
to let the old water out

I'm eating a piece of stale
room temperature
raisin bread toast
with peanut butter on it
it's dry and it sticks
in the back of my throat
I wash it down
with a mug of skim milk
that was sitting on the bathroom floor

I'm not even hungry
I just keep putting things in my mouth
because it's empty
because your mouth isn't here

And soon I will have to climb out
of my porcelain uterus
and make my way to the bed
and stare at the ceiling
imagining you hovering over me
like you do in the mornings
surprising me with your warm
thoughtful eyes

And I will think about
how I have to wake up
and do this all over again
for what feels like a million lifetimes
until I can hold you in my litle arms

And I contemplate drinking
all the rum and wine and vodke
in my kitchen
or chain-smoking
until I burn a hole through my lung
or accidentally falling asleep
while I hold my breath
in this lonely barren bathtub

And I'm determined not to sensationalize this
But fuck multum in parvo
there's no way to say
how much I miss you
in a stanza or even a paragraph

It's just me without you
and this tub
and this emptiness

And I wait

And I wait

what a phone call!

So my best friend Kathryn and I have an interesting relationship. We love each other dearly and often go months without seeing or hearing from each other. I'll be kicking myself for not calling her, when I realize that she could have just as easily called me. When we finally get in touch, we fill in all the gaps and it's like we've never been apart. We are a lot a like. Our personalities fit very well. Even our husbands are alike, which speaks highly for the choices we both made. It's funny because I'll forget in the time gap how well she understands me until we talk. For example, I told her that Scott will be away from mid-June until the end of September. She said "oh, that's not bad." as opposed to the usual reaction... "Wow. that's a long time!" She knows the choices we make. During their second year of marriage, she and her husband lived in separate provinces and were only together on the weekends...sound familiar. The eerie, yet potentially exciting, part is that she may be moving to Ontario sometime next fall or winter...hmmm. that also sounds familiar. I would be the happiest woman in the world if I could end up moving half way across the country and just to end up within a few hours of Kat. *sniff* makes me teary just thinking about it. Another strange coincidence is that we both wrote-off our cars within three months of each other...mine had snow and hers didn't, but mine was repairable, hers was NOT. Oh, well. It's so nice to have someone with whom you can be completely comfortable. Who cares about you and what's going on in your life. And who you can cut through the preliminary explanations and get to the meat of the story, because you know the background for the story. I love catching up with Kat and my life is richer because of friends like her!

Salt Dough

find the recipe
pull out the ingredients
measure carefully
throw them into the bowl
pour in the water
now comes the fun
fingers as mixers
squish and blend
knead and push

forming a beautiful ball of dough

plop
one in front of each child
watch their eyes
even if their lips say nothing
watch their eyes
wide as saucers

at first
fingers touch
hesitantly
not liking to press the norm
drilled about clean hands
sticky dough
clinging to tiny fingers

shape
mold
create
something funny
something beautiful
something unique
one of a kind

so hard to leave it be
to let it dry
to make it immortal

mistakes erased
blended back into the dough
crushed
to begin again

a lasting piece
of imagination
in globby form

Sleep

A few thoughts on this sacred institution.

-"Sleep, no I never get enough, always waking up tired"
-There are many mornings I wake up looking forward to my afternoon nap
-There is no ailment, no emotion, and no issue that sleep can't solve, or at least put off until later.
-Sleep is the best procrastination tacktic available. You can completely forget about all the things you need to do and get away to your own private paradise.
-If you have a comfy bed, curling up under the covers can be as relaxing as a full-body massage, without the uncomfortable element of a stranger touching you.
-Why do people say "catching a few z's" when not a single person I know snores with a "zzzzzz" sound. Unlike the calm bee buzzing that the comic strips imply, most snoring sleepers make noises that closer resemble freight trains, sawing logs, or grunting pigs.
-Isn't it interesting that as we fill our bellies up, our eye lids get droopier and droopier. Turkey must be the best sleep aid invented.
-I'll never understand why I cannot keep my eyes open to watch a movie on the couch, but as soon as I turn the movie off and stumble in to bed I am hit with a wave of insomnia.
-I would love to be a cat. Some afternoons, there is nothing better than to curl up in a patch of bright sunlight and snooze away the afternoon. Purr!
-A Sleepover rarely fits the title. After hours of sweets, games, giggles and chatting, sleep is often hard to come by. If you do sleepover at a friends house, once your friends falls asleep, the unfamiliar atmosphere (noises, sounds, feel of the bed, noises) push out all ability to close your eyes, leaving you cranky and tired in the morning. Sleepovers are never as fun in the morning as they are the night before. A little bit like partying....a topic for another time.

-Final thoughts... sleep reminds me of an addictive drug...I am always striving for more...can never get enough...wishing to push aside all other aspects of my life to get it...and when I spend a day indulging in it, I rarely remember more than random moments.